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May 28
| 英国哲学家阿兰·德波顿(Alain de Botton)为英国《金融时报》中文网撰稿
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| 2008年5月28日 星期三
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公元62年2月5日凌晨，一场强烈的震灾在罗马坎帕尼亚省(Campania)地底迸发，数千名毫无察觉的居民在几秒钟内丧命。庞培城(Pompeii)内大部分建筑在睡梦中的人们头顶上坍塌。救援行动因随后发生的火灾而受阻。幸存者除了身上污黑的衣衫，失去了一切，而往日的豪宅大院也变成了一堆瓦砾。在整个罗马帝国境内，到处是惊恐、难以置信和愤怒的情绪。这个世界上最强大、技术上最先进的民族，这些建造出高架引水渠、并驭服了蛮族部落的罗马人，在大自然的脾气面前，怎会如此不堪一击？
这些痛苦与惶惑（所有这一切，在今天四川大地震过后，又让人感到多么熟悉），引起了罗马哲学家塞内加(Seneca)的注意。塞内加是西方哲学史上“斯多噶学派”(Stoicism)的代表人物之一，他撰写了一系列文章来安慰他的读者。但他以自己一贯的风格然而，提供的是那种最为生硬和阴郁的安慰：“你们说：‘我没想到这一切会发生。'难道你们以为，当你知道某件事有可能发生，当你看见它已经发生，这件事居然还不会发生吗……？”为了平息读者心中的不平，塞内加提醒大家（在公元62年的春季）：无论我们认为自己已变得多么高明和安全，自然灾难与人为灾难始终是我们生命的一部分。因此，我们必须时刻都要想到未可预料的事情。平静，不过是历次混乱之间的间歇。没有什么是可靠的，即便是我们双脚依凭的大地。
如果我们不去仔细思忖大地震突然爆发的危险，并为自己的天真而付出代价，那是因为现实当中包含了两种残酷的混淆特征：一方面，是代代相传的持续性和可靠性；另一方面，则是毫无征兆的灾难。我们发现，自己在两种情况面前无所适从：一是那种貌似有理的认识，会导致我们推想，明天会与今天大致相仿；二是可能发生令人震惊的事件，而一切将随之改变。个中缘由，是因为我们怀有强烈的动机，想要忽略后一种情况。塞内加要求大家记住：我们的命运永远都掌握在命运之神(Goddess of Fortune)的手中。这位神祇会给我们播撒礼物，但又会转瞬无情地眼看着我们被一根鱼刺卡住喉咙窒息而亡，或是殒身于公寓的废墟之下。
塞内加认为，由于未曾预料到的事件对我们的伤害最大，由于我们必须预想到所有事情（“世上没有命运之神所不敢为之事”），因此我们任何时候都必须牢记，最糟糕的事情有可能发生。每个人在驾车启程、走下楼梯，或是与朋友话别时，都应意识到各种致命的可能性。塞内加希望大家不要厌恶这种念头，或者认为这是没有必要的戏剧化想法。
鉴于我们拥有强大的科技能力，我们自然以为自己能够掌控命运。人类不再是随机力量的玩物。通过运用理性，我们所有的问题都可能得到解决。这与斯多噶学派的想法极为不同。塞内加强调：我们必须要拓宽自己的感知，以便察觉到生命中随时可能出现的问题：“不应有始料未及之事。我们的思想应先行一步，去面对所有的问题。我们应该考虑的，不是什么事常会发生，而是什么事有可能发生。人是什么？人是一件容器。哪怕是最轻微的振动，最小的颠簸，都会让它破碎。人的躯体软弱而易碎。”
在卡拉布里亚(Calabria)地震之后，许多人主张应疏散整个地区的民众，并且不要再在震区重建房屋。但塞内加并不认同这样一种潜在想法：即地球上会有一个地方，或许是利古里亚(Liguria)，或许是卡拉布里亚，那里能有人真正摆脱命运之神的意志，并做到彻底的安全。“谁又能保证，他们所站立的这块或那块土地，就是更好的地基呢？所有地方的情况都一样，如果它们迄今为止没遇到过地震，那么将来还是有可能会碰上。也许就在今夜，也许在今夜之前，此时你安然伫立的地方会被撕裂开来。你又怎能知道，在命运之神已经折腾够了的那些地方，那些在废墟上重建的地方，情况从此就会变得更好呢？如果我们以为，世界上的某个地方可以幸免于难，保证安全，那我们就错了……大自然还没用这种方式创造过任何永恒不变的东西。”
为了让我们在心理上对灾难有所准备，塞内加让大家在每天早晨都进行一种奇怪的练习。这是一种拉丁文里称之为“praemeditatio”的预想：它要求你在早餐前躺在床上，想象眼前的这一天里有可能出问题的任何事情。这种练习并不是没事找事，它意在让你做好准备——如果你所在的城市当晚毁于大火，或是你的孩子不幸夭亡：“我们周遭的种种事物都注定要灭亡”。举例说来，有一种预想是：“你生为凡人，终有一死；你留下的后代也终有一死。因此你必须承认一切，预期一切。”
斯多噶主义就意味着接受生命抛给你的一切吗？不，它只是在说，我们要承认：尽管自己已经取得了如此多的进步，但我们仍是那么地脆弱。塞内加要求大家将自己视为拴在马车上的一条狗，而驾车的是一位意图难测的驭手。拴系我们的那条皮带的长度，足以给我们一定的回旋余地，但又不足以让我们想去哪里就去哪里。作为一条狗，自然希望随心所欲地四处游逛。但正如塞内加的比喻所示，如果它做不到这一点，最好还是顺从地跟在马车后面，而不是被拖着拽着，以至于被皮带勒死。就像塞内加所言：“一个动物，如果它和套索较劲，只会让套索越勒越紧……如果它拉着轭套走路，而不是与之厮斗，那么，没有哪一件轭套会紧到足以造成伤害的地步。战胜不幸的最佳好慰藉，便是保持坚忍，并承认必然性。”
回顾一下斯多噶学派哲人的智慧，我们或许能找到一种有益的方法，从而调节我们的种种期望，并减轻灾难和流血带来的震惊。公元65年，当塞内加被丧心病狂的尼禄皇帝(Emperor Nero)赐自尽时，他的妻子和家人痛哭失声，接近崩溃，但塞内加已学会如何顺应生命的马车。当他平静地用刀割断自己的血管时，留下了一句话。在那些格外让人伤悲的清晨里，当我们耳闻噩耗之际，对自己重复这一句话，不失为明智之举：“何必为生命中的一部分而哭泣呢？全部的生命才值得流泪。”
STOICISM AND THE SICHUAN EARTHQUAKE
| By Alain de Botton
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| Wednesday, May 28, 2008
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|
|
|
|
|
Early in the morning on the fifth of February AD 62, a gigantic earthquake rippled beneath the Roman province of Campania and in seconds, killed thousands of unsuspecting inhabitants. Large sections of Pompeii collapsed on top of people in their beds. Attempts to rescue them were stopped when fires broke out. The survivors were left destitute in only the soot-covered clothes they stood in, their noble buildings shattered into rubble. There was horror, disbelief and anger throughout the Empire. How could the Romans, the world's mightiest, most technologically sophisticated people, who had built aqueducts and tamed barbarian hordes, be so vulnerable to the insane tempers of nature?
The suffering and confusion – only too familiar today in the wake of the Sichuan earthquake – attracted the notice of the Roman philosopher, Seneca, one of the key figures in the school of Western philosophy known as Stoicism. He wrote a succession of essays to comfort his readers but, typically for Seneca, the consolation on offer was of the stiffest, darkest sort: ‘You say: ‘I did not think it would happen.' Do you think there is anything that will not happen, when you know that it is possible to happen, when you see that it has already happened...?' Seneca tried to calm the sense of injustice in his readers by reminding them – in the spring of AD62 – that natural and man-made disasters will always be a feature of our lives, however sophisticated and safe we think we have become. We must therefore at all times expect the unexpected. Calm is only an interval between chaos. Nothing is guaranteed, not even the ground we stand on.
If we do not dwell on the risk of sudden giant quakes and pay a price for our innocence, it is because reality comprises two cruelly confusing characteristics: on the one hand, continuity and reliability lasting across generations, on the other, unheralded cataclysms. We find ourselves divided between a plausible invitation to assume that tomorrow will be much like today, and the possibility that we will meet with an appalling event after which nothing will ever be the same again. It is because we have such powerful incentives to neglect the latter scenario that Seneca asked us to remember that our fate is forever in the hands of the Goddess of Fortune. This Goddess can scatter gifts, then with terrifying speed watch us choke to death on a fishbone or disappear under an apartment building.
Because we are hurt most by what we do not expect, and because we must expect everything (‘There is nothing which Fortune does not dare'), we must, argued Seneca, hold the possibility of the most obscene events in mind at all times. No one should undertake a journey by car, or walk down the stairs or say goodbye to a friend without an awareness, which Seneca would have wished to be neither gruesome nor unnecessarily dramatic, of fatal possibilities.
Given our technological prowess, it's become natural to think of ourselves as controlling our destiny. Man doesn't any longer have to be a plaything of random forces and with the application of reason, all our problems may be solved. Nothing could be further from a Stoic mindset. We must, stressed Seneca, expand our sense of what may at any time go wrong in our lives: ‘Nothing ought to be unexpected by us. Our minds should be sent forward in advance to meet all the problems, and we should consider, not what is wont to happen, but what can happen. What is man? A vessel that the slightest shaking, the slightest toss will break. A body weak and fragile.'
In the wake of the Calabria earthquake, many people argued that the whole area should be evacuated, and nothing more built on earthquake zones. But Seneca disagreed with the underlying belief that there might be somewhere on earth, in Liguria or Calabria perhaps, where someone could actually be wholly safe, out of reach of Fortune's will: ‘Who promises them better foundations for this or that soil to stand on? All places have the same conditions and if they have not yet had an earthquake, they can none the less have quakes. Perhaps tonight or before tonight will split open the spot where you stand securely. How do you know whether conditions will henceforth be better in those places against which Fortune has already exhausted her strength or in those places which are supported on their own ruins? We are mistaken if we believe any part of the world is exempt and safe... Nature has not created anything in such a way that it is immobile."
To try to prepare ourselves psychologically for disaster, Seneca asked us to perform a strange exercise every morning which he called in Latin a praemeditatio – a premedition – and which involved lying in bed before breakfast and imagining everything that could go wrong in the day ahead. This exercise was no idle fun, it was designed to prepared you if your town burnt down that evening or your children died: ‘We live in the middle of things which have all been destined to die,' ran one example of a premeditation, ‘Mortal have you been born, to mortals have you given birth. So you must reckon on everything, expect everything.'
Does Stoicism mean accepting everything that life throws at you? No, it simply means recognising how vulnerable we remain, despite all our advances. Seneca asked us to think of ourselves like dogs who have been tied to a charriot driven by an unpredictable driver. Our leash is long enough to give us a degree of leeway, but is not long enough to allow us to wander wherever we please. A dog will naturally hope to roam about as it wants. But as Seneca's metaphor implies, if it can't, then it's better for the animal to follow obediently behind the cart rather than dragged and strangled by it. As Seneca put it: ‘An animal, struggling against the noose, tightens it... there is no yoke so tight that it will not hurt the animal less if it pulls with it than if it fights against it. The best alleviation for overwhelming evils is to endure and bow to necessity.'
By turning back to the wisdom of the Stoic philosophers, we may find a helpful way of tempering some of our expectations and dampening our shock at disasters and bloodshed. When, in AD 65, Seneca was ordered to kill himself by the crazed Emperor Nero, his wife and family collapsed in tears, but Seneca had learnt to follow the charriot of life with resignation. As he calmly took the knife to his veins, he remarked – in a sentence we may be wise to repeat to ourselves as we read the news on certain particularly sad mornings – ‘What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.' | |
| 英国哲学家阿兰·德波顿(Alain de Botton)为英国《金融时报》中文网撰稿
|
| 2008年5月28日 星期三
|
|
|
|
|
|
公元62年2月5日凌晨，一场强烈的震灾在罗马坎帕尼亚省(Campania)地底迸发，数千名毫无察觉的居民在几秒钟内丧命。庞培城(Pompeii)内大部分建筑在睡梦中的人们头顶上坍塌。救援行动因随后发生的火灾而受阻。幸存者除了身上污黑的衣衫，失去了一切，而往日的豪宅大院也变成了一堆瓦砾。在整个罗马帝国境内，到处是惊恐、难以置信和愤怒的情绪。这个世界上最强大、技术上最先进的民族，这些建造出高架引水渠、并驭服了蛮族部落的罗马人，在大自然的脾气面前，怎会如此不堪一击？
这些痛苦与惶惑（所有这一切，在今天四川大地震过后，又让人感到多么熟悉），引起了罗马哲学家塞内加(Seneca)的注意。塞内加是西方哲学史上“斯多噶学派”(Stoicism)的代表人物之一，他撰写了一系列文章来安慰他的读者。但他以自己一贯的风格然而，提供的是那种最为生硬和阴郁的安慰：“你们说：‘我没想到这一切会发生。'难道你们以为，当你知道某件事有可能发生，当你看见它已经发生，这件事居然还不会发生吗……？”为了平息读者心中的不平，塞内加提醒大家（在公元62年的春季）：无论我们认为自己已变得多么高明和安全，自然灾难与人为灾难始终是我们生命的一部分。因此，我们必须时刻都要想到未可预料的事情。平静，不过是历次混乱之间的间歇。没有什么是可靠的，即便是我们双脚依凭的大地。
如果我们不去仔细思忖大地震突然爆发的危险，并为自己的天真而付出代价，那是因为现实当中包含了两种残酷的混淆特征：一方面，是代代相传的持续性和可靠性；另一方面，则是毫无征兆的灾难。我们发现，自己在两种情况面前无所适从：一是那种貌似有理的认识，会导致我们推想，明天会与今天大致相仿；二是可能发生令人震惊的事件，而一切将随之改变。个中缘由，是因为我们怀有强烈的动机，想要忽略后一种情况。塞内加要求大家记住：我们的命运永远都掌握在命运之神(Goddess of Fortune)的手中。这位神祇会给我们播撒礼物，但又会转瞬无情地眼看着我们被一根鱼刺卡住喉咙窒息而亡，或是殒身于公寓的废墟之下。
塞内加认为，由于未曾预料到的事件对我们的伤害最大，由于我们必须预想到所有事情（“世上没有命运之神所不敢为之事”），因此我们任何时候都必须牢记，最糟糕的事情有可能发生。每个人在驾车启程、走下楼梯，或是与朋友话别时，都应意识到各种致命的可能性。塞内加希望大家不要厌恶这种念头，或者认为这是没有必要的戏剧化想法。
鉴于我们拥有强大的科技能力，我们自然以为自己能够掌控命运。人类不再是随机力量的玩物。通过运用理性，我们所有的问题都可能得到解决。这与斯多噶学派的想法极为不同。塞内加强调：我们必须要拓宽自己的感知，以便察觉到生命中随时可能出现的问题：“不应有始料未及之事。我们的思想应先行一步，去面对所有的问题。我们应该考虑的，不是什么事常会发生，而是什么事有可能发生。人是什么？人是一件容器。哪怕是最轻微的振动，最小的颠簸，都会让它破碎。人的躯体软弱而易碎。”
在卡拉布里亚(Calabria)地震之后，许多人主张应疏散整个地区的民众，并且不要再在震区重建房屋。但塞内加并不认同这样一种潜在想法：即地球上会有一个地方，或许是利古里亚(Liguria)，或许是卡拉布里亚，那里能有人真正摆脱命运之神的意志，并做到彻底的安全。“谁又能保证，他们所站立的这块或那块土地，就是更好的地基呢？所有地方的情况都一样，如果它们迄今为止没遇到过地震，那么将来还是有可能会碰上。也许就在今夜，也许在今夜之前，此时你安然伫立的地方会被撕裂开来。你又怎能知道，在命运之神已经折腾够了的那些地方，那些在废墟上重建的地方，情况从此就会变得更好呢？如果我们以为，世界上的某个地方可以幸免于难，保证安全，那我们就错了……大自然还没用这种方式创造过任何永恒不变的东西。”
为了让我们在心理上对灾难有所准备，塞内加让大家在每天早晨都进行一种奇怪的练习。这是一种拉丁文里称之为“praemeditatio”的预想：它要求你在早餐前躺在床上，想象眼前的这一天里有可能出问题的任何事情。这种练习并不是没事找事，它意在让你做好准备——如果你所在的城市当晚毁于大火，或是你的孩子不幸夭亡：“我们周遭的种种事物都注定要灭亡”。举例说来，有一种预想是：“你生为凡人，终有一死；你留下的后代也终有一死。因此你必须承认一切，预期一切。”
斯多噶主义就意味着接受生命抛给你的一切吗？不，它只是在说，我们要承认：尽管自己已经取得了如此多的进步，但我们仍是那么地脆弱。塞内加要求大家将自己视为拴在马车上的一条狗，而驾车的是一位意图难测的驭手。拴系我们的那条皮带的长度，足以给我们一定的回旋余地，但又不足以让我们想去哪里就去哪里。作为一条狗，自然希望随心所欲地四处游逛。但正如塞内加的比喻所示，如果它做不到这一点，最好还是顺从地跟在马车后面，而不是被拖着拽着，以至于被皮带勒死。就像塞内加所言：“一个动物，如果它和套索较劲，只会让套索越勒越紧……如果它拉着轭套走路，而不是与之厮斗，那么，没有哪一件轭套会紧到足以造成伤害的地步。战胜不幸的最佳好慰藉，便是保持坚忍，并承认必然性。”
回顾一下斯多噶学派哲人的智慧，我们或许能找到一种有益的方法，从而调节我们的种种期望，并减轻灾难和流血带来的震惊。公元65年，当塞内加被丧心病狂的尼禄皇帝(Emperor Nero)赐自尽时，他的妻子和家人痛哭失声，接近崩溃，但塞内加已学会如何顺应生命的马车。当他平静地用刀割断自己的血管时，留下了一句话。在那些格外让人伤悲的清晨里，当我们耳闻噩耗之际，对自己重复这一句话，不失为明智之举：“何必为生命中的一部分而哭泣呢？全部的生命才值得流泪。”
STOICISM AND THE SICHUAN EARTHQUAKE
| By Alain de Botton
|
| Wednesday, May 28, 2008
|
|
|
|
|
|
Early in the morning on the fifth of February AD 62, a gigantic earthquake rippled beneath the Roman province of Campania and in seconds, killed thousands of unsuspecting inhabitants. Large sections of Pompeii collapsed on top of people in their beds. Attempts to rescue them were stopped when fires broke out. The survivors were left destitute in only the soot-covered clothes they stood in, their noble buildings shattered into rubble. There was horror, disbelief and anger throughout the Empire. How could the Romans, the world's mightiest, most technologically sophisticated people, who had built aqueducts and tamed barbarian hordes, be so vulnerable to the insane tempers of nature?
The suffering and confusion – only too familiar today in the wake of the Sichuan earthquake – attracted the notice of the Roman philosopher, Seneca, one of the key figures in the school of Western philosophy known as Stoicism. He wrote a succession of essays to comfort his readers but, typically for Seneca, the consolation on offer was of the stiffest, darkest sort: ‘You say: ‘I did not think it would happen.' Do you think there is anything that will not happen, when you know that it is possible to happen, when you see that it has already happened...?' Seneca tried to calm the sense of injustice in his readers by reminding them – in the spring of AD62 – that natural and man-made disasters will always be a feature of our lives, however sophisticated and safe we think we have become. We must therefore at all times expect the unexpected. Calm is only an interval between chaos. Nothing is guaranteed, not even the ground we stand on.
If we do not dwell on the risk of sudden giant quakes and pay a price for our innocence, it is because reality comprises two cruelly confusing characteristics: on the one hand, continuity and reliability lasting across generations, on the other, unheralded cataclysms. We find ourselves divided between a plausible invitation to assume that tomorrow will be much like today, and the possibility that we will meet with an appalling event after which nothing will ever be the same again. It is because we have such powerful incentives to neglect the latter scenario that Seneca asked us to remember that our fate is forever in the hands of the Goddess of Fortune. This Goddess can scatter gifts, then with terrifying speed watch us choke to death on a fishbone or disappear under an apartment building.
Because we are hurt most by what we do not expect, and because we must expect everything (‘There is nothing which Fortune does not dare'), we must, argued Seneca, hold the possibility of the most obscene events in mind at all times. No one should undertake a journey by car, or walk down the stairs or say goodbye to a friend without an awareness, which Seneca would have wished to be neither gruesome nor unnecessarily dramatic, of fatal possibilities.
Given our technological prowess, it's become natural to think of ourselves as controlling our destiny. Man doesn't any longer have to be a plaything of random forces and with the application of reason, all our problems may be solved. Nothing could be further from a Stoic mindset. We must, stressed Seneca, expand our sense of what may at any time go wrong in our lives: ‘Nothing ought to be unexpected by us. Our minds should be sent forward in advance to meet all the problems, and we should consider, not what is wont to happen, but what can happen. What is man? A vessel that the slightest shaking, the slightest toss will break. A body weak and fragile.'
In the wake of the Calabria earthquake, many people argued that the whole area should be evacuated, and nothing more built on earthquake zones. But Seneca disagreed with the underlying belief that there might be somewhere on earth, in Liguria or Calabria perhaps, where someone could actually be wholly safe, out of reach of Fortune's will: ‘Who promises them better foundations for this or that soil to stand on? All places have the same conditions and if they have not yet had an earthquake, they can none the less have quakes. Perhaps tonight or before tonight will split open the spot where you stand securely. How do you know whether conditions will henceforth be better in those places against which Fortune has already exhausted her strength or in those places which are supported on their own ruins? We are mistaken if we believe any part of the world is exempt and safe... Nature has not created anything in such a way that it is immobile."
To try to prepare ourselves psychologically for disaster, Seneca asked us to perform a strange exercise every morning which he called in Latin a praemeditatio – a premedition – and which involved lying in bed before breakfast and imagining everything that could go wrong in the day ahead. This exercise was no idle fun, it was designed to prepared you if your town burnt down that evening or your children died: ‘We live in the middle of things which have all been destined to die,' ran one example of a premeditation, ‘Mortal have you been born, to mortals have you given birth. So you must reckon on everything, expect everything.'
Does Stoicism mean accepting everything that life throws at you? No, it simply means recognising how vulnerable we remain, despite all our advances. Seneca asked us to think of ourselves like dogs who have been tied to a charriot driven by an unpredictable driver. Our leash is long enough to give us a degree of leeway, but is not long enough to allow us to wander wherever we please. A dog will naturally hope to roam about as it wants. But as Seneca's metaphor implies, if it can't, then it's better for the animal to follow obediently behind the cart rather than dragged and strangled by it. As Seneca put it: ‘An animal, struggling against the noose, tightens it... there is no yoke so tight that it will not hurt the animal less if it pulls with it than if it fights against it. The best alleviation for overwhelming evils is to endure and bow to necessity.'
By turning back to the wisdom of the Stoic philosophers, we may find a helpful way of tempering some of our expectations and dampening our shock at disasters and bloodshed. When, in AD 65, Seneca was ordered to kill himself by the crazed Emperor Nero, his wife and family collapsed in tears, but Seneca had learnt to follow the charriot of life with resignation. As he calmly took the knife to his veins, he remarked – in a sentence we may be wise to repeat to ourselves as we read the news on certain particularly sad mornings – ‘What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.' | | October 09 作者：英国《金融时报》安德鲁•希尔(Andrew Hill)
2007年9月26日 星期三
股东们并不一定希望他们的首席执行官花时间去阅读商业类书籍。思考商业问题，可以。做生意，绝对必须。但阅读商业书籍呢？ 想
象一下，通用电气(General Electric)首席执行官杰弗里•伊梅尔特(Jeffrey
Immelt)坐下来花上几个小时去阅读《门口的野蛮人》(Barbarians at the Gate，1990年出版的关于 RJR
Nabisco并购案的经典书籍)。或是阿塞洛-米塔尔公司(Arcelor Mittal)的掌门人拉克希米•米塔尔(Lakshmi
Mittal) 仔细研究着吉姆•柯林斯(Jim Collins)和杰里•波拉(Jerry Porras)的《基业长青》(Built to
Last，此书对全球存续最久的一些梦幻企业进行了分析)。说句好听的，这是浪费时间，说不好听的，这就是失职了：“等一会儿再进行巨型合并——我马上就
要读完关于领导力的这一章了。” 但英国《金融时报》对全球顶级高管、企业家和专家的调查显示，大多数人发现，至少有一本商业书籍非常有用，甚至令他们深受鼓舞。其中包括伊梅尔特和米塔尔推荐的上述书籍。
印度IT服务企业——信息系统技术公司(Infosys)的联席董事长南丹•尼勒卡尼(Nandan
Nilekani)表示，大前研一(Kenichi Ohmae)的《战略家的思维》(The Mind of the
Strategist)给了他一个藉以制定战略的“精神工具箱”。路透(Reuters)首席执行官汤姆•格罗瑟(Tom
Glocer)则表示，当自己首次拜读克莱顿•克里斯坦森(Clayton Christensen)的《创新的两难》(The
Innovator's Dilemma)一书时，“极大地影响了我对创新的认识”。 的确，没有人声称自己是商业书籍的热心读者。大多数商业书籍被定义为管理类图书。有些人称，他们已经好久没有读过自己喜欢的书了。还有一些受调查者认为，不值得在商业书籍上花费时间。 迪拜国际金融中心管理局(Dubai International Financial Centre Authority)主席、前香港著名银行家大卫•埃尔登(David Eldon)表示，他发现，直接聆听成功商业人士的讲述和阅读英国《金融时报》更为有用。 但从这次非正式调查的结果来看，要说某些最佳商业书籍直接影响了全球一些最大企业的成长，可能并非夸大其词。 此
项调查的最初目的，是总结出一个包括5本书的最终候选名单，以供英国《金融时报》读者选出有史以来最受欢迎的商业书籍。我们当时认为，这前五名自然会从商
业专家的推荐中涌现。结果很遗憾。吉姆•柯林斯的《从优秀到卓越》(Good to
Great)得到了4次提名，但没有任何其它一本书获得1次以上的提名。 这当中有些惊人的遗漏。例如，已故伟大管理学家彼得•德鲁克
(Peter Drucker)有5本著作获得提名，但没有人选择他的《管理实践》(The Practice of
Management)一书，而我们的商业专栏作家斯特凡•斯特恩(Stefan Stern)曾认为此书将获得最多提名。汤姆•彼得斯(Tom
Peters)和罗伯特•沃特曼(Robert Waterman)微有瑕疵却影响深远的《追求卓越》(In Search of
Excellence)也落选了，这使得英国《金融时报》另一位专栏作家迈克尔•斯卡平克(Michael Skapinker)为之抱憾不已。 托
马斯•弗里德曼(Thomas Friedman)对全球化的赞歌——《世界是平的》(The World is
Flat)一书同样没有被人提到。本书曾在2005年荣获首届“英国《金融时报》和高盛年度最佳图书奖”(Financial Times and
Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year
Award)，而且已成为商业书籍出版史上被引用最多的书籍之一。不过，受调查者也有一些发人深思的选择。星空集团印度公司(Star
India)前首席执行官彼得•穆克贾(Peter Mukerjea)选择了海伦娜•诺伯格•霍奇斯(Helena
Norberg-Hodge)的《悠久的未来》(Ancient Futures)，这本书描写了现代经济压力对（喜玛拉亚深山中）拉达克文化的影响。 出
人意料的是，自由主义者、作家安•兰德(Ayn Rand)的作品和约翰•格里森姆(John Grisham)的《公司》(The
Firm)出现在同一份名单中。艾伦•格林斯潘(Alan
Greenspan)曾经从安•兰德的作品中得到启发。它们都获得了伦敦卡斯商学院(Cass Business School)教授斯科特•莫勒(
Scott Moeller)的推荐。 IBM首席执行官塞缪尔•帕米萨诺(Samuel
Palmisano)一方面承认“我已不像从前那样有那么多时间去读书”，一方面赞美了蓝色巨人前掌门人托马斯•沃森(Thomas
Watson)的《企业与信仰》(Business and Its
Beliefs)一书。这是强调IBM历史传承的好方法，不过，他要是能再进一步，推荐一下前任董事长郭士纳(Lou
Gerstner)的《谁说大象不能跳舞》(Who Says Elephants Can't
Dance?)，那就更好了。这本书恰巧是索尼(Sony)首席执行官霍华德•斯金格爵士(Sir Howard Stringer)的选择。 那
么，是否真有一本商业书籍藏有优秀管理的秘诀呢？瑞士ABB公司首席执行官金乐(Fred
Kindle)指出，《从优秀到卓越》一书普遍受到赞誉，对如何造就一个表现优异的企业进行了阐述，可即便是这些观点，也受到了菲利普•罗森茨韦格
(Philip Rosenzweig)最近出版的《光环效应》(The Halo
Effect)的挑战。金乐表示：“如果真的只存在一个真理，那么有关书籍早就该面世了，而我们也应该早已拜读过。”
BLOCKBUSTERS FOR BEHEMOTHS
Shareholders don't necessarily expect
their chief executives to spend time reading business books. Thinking
about business, yes. Doing business, definitely. But reading about it? Picture Jeffrey Immelt, General Electric's chief executive, settling down for a couple of hours with Barbarians at the Gate,
the 1990 classic narrative about the buy-out of RJR Nabisco. Or Lakshmi
Mittal, head of ArcelorMittal, dissecting Built to Last, the Jim
Collins/Jerry Porras analysis of the world's most durable visionary
companies. It sounds at best a waste of their time, at worst a
dereliction of duty: “Hold the mega-merger – I'm just finishing the
chapter on leadership.” Yet a Financial Times straw poll
of a range of top global executives, entrepreneurs and experts revealed
that most had found at least one business book – including the books
above, recommended by Mr Immelt and Mr Mittal – particularly useful,
even inspiring.
Nandan Nilekani, co-chairman of Infosys, the Indian IT services
company, said Kenichi Ohmae's The Mind of the Strategist had given him
a “mental toolbox” with which to build a strategy. Tom Glocer, chief
executive of Reuters, said Clayton Christensen's The Innovator's
Dilemma had had a “profound effect on my thinking around innovation”
when he first read it. True, nobody claimed to be an avid
reader of business books, which most defined as books about management.
A few said it had been a while since they last looked at their
favourites. And a couple of participants reckoned that business books
were not worth the trouble. David Eldon, the former top
Hong Kong banker, now chairman of the Dubai International Financial
Centre Authority, said he found it more useful to hear directly from
successful business people and to read the FT. But,
judging from this informal survey, it is probably no exaggeration to
say that some of the best business books have had a direct influence on
the growth of the world's largest companies. Our aim at
the outset of the survey was to come up with a shortlist of five titles
from which FT readers could select an all-time favourite. It seemed
likely that this top five would emerge naturally from the
recommendations of the business experts. No such luck. Jim Collins'
Good to Great received four mentions, but no other book got more than
one each. And there were some striking omissions. While
five volumes by the late, great Peter Drucker were singled out, nobody
chose The Practice of Management, which Stefan Stern, our business
columnist, reckoned would be the most-cited. Another FT columnist,
Michael Skapinker, missed Tom Peters' and Robert Waterman's flawed but
influential In Search of Excellence. And there was not a
single mention for Tom Friedman's paean to globalisation, The World is
Flat, the inaugural winner of the Financial Times and Goldman Sachs
Business Book of the Year Award in 2005 and already one of the most
cross-referenced works in business publishing history. Still, there
were some thought-provoking selections. Peter Mukerjea, former chief
executive of Star Group India, picked Helena Norberg-Hodge's Ancient
Futures, about the influence on Ladakhi culture of modern economic
pressures. Who would have expected to find works by Ayn
Rand, the libertarian intellectual and author (an inspiration to, among
others, Alan Greenspan), in the same list as The Firm by John Grisham?
All were recommended by Scott Moeller of Cass Business School. Samuel
Palmisano of IBM, while admitting that “I don't have as much time to
read as I used to”, paid tribute to a former Big Blue boss, Thomas
Watson Jr, who wrote Business and Its Beliefs. That was a good way of
underlining the IBM legacy – although he could have gone one better and
also recommended his immediate predecessor Lou Gerstner's book Who Says
Elephants Can't Dance? (the choice, as it happens, of Sony's Sir Howard
Stringer). Is there, then, a single business book that
holds the secret to good management? Probably not. As Fred Kindle,
chief executive of ABB, points out, even Good to Great's much-praised
assertions about what makes a high-performance company have been
challenged by Philip Rosenzweig's recently published volume, The Halo Effect.
But then, as Mr Kindle, says: “If there was only one valid truth, the
book about it would have been written years ago and we all would have
read it.” January 16
| 作者：英国《金融时报》撰稿人 格温•罗宾森(Gwen Robinson) |
| 2006年9月8日 星期五 |
阿布衣餐厅(El Bulli，加泰罗尼亚语“斗牛犬”之意)是一家米其林三星级餐厅，位于西班牙东北海岸。当你对别人说，你曾在此用过餐时，人们一般不会想到先问食物如何。而是问：“你是怎么搞到桌位的？”第二个问题是：“花了多少钱？”第三个：“这家餐厅什么样？”对于心存怀疑者（我就是其一），最后一个、也是最关键的问题是：“值吗？”去过阿布衣餐厅后，我意识到，这家“世界最佳餐厅”的盛名造就了许多神话，其中有许多需要打破。
阿布衣为什么这么牛？
的确，在阿布衣餐厅搞到一张桌位很难，如果坚持利用常规方法则更是如此。这是因为这家餐厅民主得有些出奇，因此名人因素也就几乎没有影响力了。早在深入了解阿布衣餐厅无与伦比的菜肴之前，它强硬的预订政策（如果可以将其称为“政策”的话）就已赢得了我的好感。当看到有报道称，某个名人或权贵无法随意订到这家餐厅的桌位时，我总会固执地感到些许安慰。
据餐厅经理路易斯•加西亚(Luis Garcia)称，这么做的原因是，阿布衣的基本理念就是要做到“公平”，即便每年至少有40万份（可能要比这个数字多得多）预订申请如潮水般涌来。“很难确定精确的数字，因为我们不断接到电子邮件和电话预订，”他告诉我。由于严格的订座政策，加上餐厅一年中有半年都在歇业——4月至9月营业——阿布衣一年只能招待8000位食客。“即使每年仅有40万份预订申请，也要花上50年才能招待完——你明白我的意思吗？”加西亚说道。
但一些人就会问了，为什么非要费那么大劲儿去阿布衣吃饭呢？一家餐厅会有那么好不成？读过太多关于费兰•阿德里亚(Ferran Adrià)（阿布衣餐厅现象的策划者）天才厨艺的激情洋溢的文章后，我曾表示怀疑。他做的“意式冰激凌”泡沫、冻干肉粉，以及科学的“分子”烹饪技艺听上去噱头十足。但当马德里的一位密友想方设法搞到一张桌位时，我感觉仿佛中了彩票一般。
阿布衣餐厅什么样？
当终于踏入餐厅时（其实如果非常想来这吃饭，你总会如愿以偿），你会发现餐厅里的桌位少得惊人——只有20张，其中6张位于一个宜人的露天平台上——而且桌位之间的距离宽得惊人。整间餐厅就像阿德里亚本人一样低调、谦恭，但氛围和服务却不失时尚。餐厅会事先询问客人是否有忌口，并完全避免采用忌口食材。
然而，餐厅的精华和魅力都集中在食物上，它们反映了阿德里亚对“胃觉反应”与烹饪艺术的痴迷。一顿历时数小时的大餐，接连为客人们呈现着极具创意的口味、材质和视觉效果。所有浅盘或容器，或凸凹不平，或曲线奇异，似乎都是为其中的佳肴度身定做。整个晚上，我们享用的菜肴丰富多样，不一而足：甘甜开胃、名为“阿布衣小吃”(El Bulli snacks)的奇特小菜；一些有趣的创意之作，比如“帕尔马干酪冰淇淋”(parmesan frozen-air)——一堆奶酪泡沫置于一个聚苯乙烯盒子中，旁边配有一小袋“水果、牛奶、果仁什锦”(muesli)，然后会有人教你将什锦撒在泡沫上；去骨凤爪配茶与芝麻酱；一些更加受限制的菜肴，比如鲭鱼肚配油炸调味鸡肉和洋葱。
这一餐，或者说盛宴，价格160欧元，阿布衣也许将其中大部分花在了人工和配料上。餐厅的酒单上佳酿众多，价格并不高，如果你喜欢喝上好的本地酒，那么适中的价格定会让你感到惊讶。“我不想让这个地方变成百万富翁和大人物们的休闲港。我希望喜爱美食的普通人来这儿品尝，不管他们有多少钱，”低调的阿德里亚告诉我。“并不是说百万富翁们无法欣赏我做的菜，而是我不想让它变成一间只面向大富豪的餐厅。”
按照阿德里亚的定义，我们一伙人可以被称为“普通”人。我们都喜爱美味佳肴，尽管某些人尤好此道。我们大部分人都入住附近的一家海滨酒店来渡过长周末。这个名为十字架海角(Cap de Creus)的地方，之所以闻名，是因为它在艺术史上占有一席之地（萨尔瓦多•达利(Salvador Dalí)曾住在这里），并拥有出色的本地餐馆以及全景观赏步行路线。
来到阿布衣的第一印象——非常具有误导性——是它似乎再平常不过了。你会进入偏远海边一座赏心悦目的庄园式建筑。我们之前所听到、所读到的有关这座餐馆的所有东西都散发着无尽魅力；从充满艺术气息的网站，到提前预订的食物和餐饮产品，它看上去十分时尚典雅。事实上，餐馆内饰颇为美观大方，但也寻常得令人惊讶：瓷砖地面、白色墙壁、舒适的桌椅，以及遍布各处的斗牛犬小摆设（为了纪念餐馆的名字——60年代餐馆原主人一对德国夫妇为其命名）。殷勤有礼的侍者欢迎你的到来，他们其实非常友善、高效和博识，尽管他们穿着黑色制服，看上去比大部分顾客更加时髦。
食物的魔术
第一批菜上来了——芒果叶和鲜花做成的甜点，柑橘、杜松子酒与草莓调制的迷你鸡尾酒，冻干香蕉薄片，还有海苔脆片。这时候你会明白，在阿布衣就餐不但会让人大饱口福，也是智力上的奇妙体验。一些菜品——冻干鹅肝粉，以及泡沫、慕思和冻胶——非常好玩，它们放在了航空公司的餐盒、仿鱼子酱罐头和小漆盒里。我们这群人里的一位新闻学教师，称之为“去太阳马戏团(Cirque du Soleil，加拿大的创新性剧团和杂技团)看表演的食物版”。跟马戏团引人入胜的把戏一样，一道道菜不断送上来，强烈地冲击感官。
也许达利在该地区的影响力，加强了阿德里亚烹饪中的超现实主义元素。所有东西都面目全非，一种配料会被做得在外观或味道上像其它东西。每样东西可以品出不同味道。配料都被掩饰起来。看上去像一团棉花糖的东西，尝起来像奶酪和爆米花；一罐红色三文鱼子酱，实际上盛着珠状西瓜球；而看上去像引擎部件的线圈，其实是用橄榄油做成的。
最佳的享用方法是，带着完全开放的心态（就如在晚上享乐时那样）和毅然冒险的味觉。在某种程度上，它是一段奇妙的被动体验。侍者执掌全局。每道菜上来时，我们被严苛的魔咒指示如何食用。当上来一个长碗——下面是浓香四溢的肉汤（似乎用两头牛熬了多日），上面堆积着冻干鹅肝粉，我们被告知：“用调羹把粉末剜下浸入汤里，同时舀起汤与粉末，一口吃下”；或者，在吃橄榄油圈时：“用手指串起来，一口吞下”。
吃过这餐之后很久，我们还热心地比较最喜欢和最不喜欢的菜品，细细思量我们这伙人口味上的差异。
我们达成的共识是，必须粉碎阿布衣的神话。这家餐馆可以轻而易举地增加许多桌子，减少菜式或者提高价格。但阿德里亚决定不这么做。当我们参观宽敞而干净的厨房时（大部分客人会受邀进行参观），他告诉我们：“我在其它生意上非常精明，从那些地方赚钱。在这里所做的一切是因为喜欢。我不想从它身上赚钱。”对于我们之中的经济学家来说，这是最大的困惑：有人无意增加供应，去满足急剧增大的需求。
挤进阿布衣
阿布衣仅在四至九月营业，从十月中旬才开始接受每一年的预订（没错，一年）。餐厅经理路易斯•加西亚建议人们先发一封电邮，而不要打电话（“从十月中旬开始，电话就疯响，有时我们会拔掉电话线”）。加西亚开玩笑说，他的名字其实应该叫“不先生”(Se?or No)——“我所做的一切，好像就是说不，”他可怜兮兮地说。但他补充道，很多人成功了，如果他们确实想来。如果你是那类人，又没法获得经确认的预订，那就计划一次来该地区的旅行，以捕捉渺小的就餐机会。当你有空来旅行时，提前几天重新发一次电邮，到了那天再打个电话(+34 972-150 457)。
您要是没有订到桌位，那就在景色秀美的西班牙布拉巴海岸(Costa Brava)享受假期吧，否则太得不偿失了。布拉巴海岸线怪石嶙峋，离阿布衣22公里就是历史悠久的卡德克斯(Cadaques)渔港，美丽的海滩和不错的地方风味餐馆，非常值得一游。说起游玩，不知道你喜不喜欢萨尔瓦多•达利的作品，在他位于卡德克斯附近利加特港(Port Lligat)的故居内，摆满了家具陈设和怪诞作品，并对公众开放。附近几个博物馆也对外开放。
当地最好的餐馆是位于赫罗纳(Girona)的米其林星级餐厅Celler de Can Roca和位于Saint Celeoni的El Racó de Can Fabes，距巴塞罗那52公里。
费兰•阿德里亚的铁杆迷们应前往西班牙的另一边，下榻他位于塞维利亚的Hotel Hacienda Benazuza宾馆，并在La Alqueria餐厅就餐。据加西亚称，阿德里亚每隔几个月就来此地，做一些管理工作，虽然风格有点不同，但也“非常棒”。
阿德里亚还拥有马德里的La Terrazza餐厅，但有关报道则毁誉参半。
阿布衣餐厅
电话：+34 972-150 457；
网址：www.elbulli.com；
10月至3月歇业
伯纳德•麦克列奥德(Bernard Macleod)、安娅•席芙林(Anya Schiffrin)和莱斯利•克劳福德(Leslie Crawford)亦对本文有贡献。
| 作者：英国《金融时报》居伊•德•容凯尔(Guy de Jonquieres) |
| 2007年1月15日 星期一 |
对亚洲而言，2007年将是又一个剧变之年。不过，对于消息灵通人士来说，即使最不可能的事情发生了，他们也不会大惊小怪。英国《金融时报》动员全球情报网，并请来中国西部一位道士提供专门服务，为读者提供未来12个月预测。
1月，北京：针对中国不断扩大的对美贸易顺差，美国国会威胁要对华贸易制裁。为消弭这种威胁，中国派出采购代表团赴美，命令采购团在美国各地的零售网点批量采购。
2月，台北：检调单位对为数不多、尚未因涉嫌腐败接受调查的台湾政界人物开展调查，随后，台湾的政治候选人全军覆没。
东京：日本宣布，已开发出低成本的合成铁矿石和煤。澳大利亚经济滑向衰退，出口崩溃，悉尼证交所出现有史以来最大单日跌幅。
3月，北京：中国采购代表团报告，在搜遍美国所有购物中心之后，根本找不到非中国制造的消费品。于是，北京转而宣布收购沃尔玛(Wal-Mart)的计划，并将其更名为“友谊商店”。
4月，内比都(Naypyidaw，缅甸新首都)：在经历了数十年军事统治之后，缅甸表示将实行民主制度，下月举行大选。
北京：中国终于公布了中国央行决定人民币汇率的一篮子货币的构成。其主要币种是：澳门元、巴拿马货币巴波亚、缅甸货币缅元、不丹货币努尔特鲁姆和老挝货币基普。
5月，平壤：金正日宣布，朝鲜开发出全球最大的硅片——有两个足球场那么大，他欢呼国家科学成就取得重大进步。
内比都：缅甸举行大选，由津巴布韦官方观察员监督。将军们通过选举占据所有议会席位。
6月，新德里：印度政府终于放弃了自己运营国家的努力，决定把工作外包给一个总部位于班加罗尔的IT企业财团WeGov，牵头企业是信息系统技术公司(Infosys)和威普罗(Wipro)。
东京：日本最后一位种植水稻的农夫去世，享年102岁。日本政府警告，国家安全受到严重威胁，因而将水稻进口关税提高10000%，给了世界贸易谈判多哈回合致命的一击。
7月，华盛顿：最后一个借款方偿还了贷款，国际货币基金组织(IMF)没有了经常收入，该机构被宣告破产。东亚各国联合起来提供紧急纾困，条件是IMF同意进行深度结构改革，厉行节约，并接受中国人民银行的严格监督。
伦敦：在朝鲜宣布大规模生产巨型半导体晶片之后，全球黄沙价格一路飙升。中国立刻收购了撒哈拉沙漠，旨在保证硅供应的安全，同时表示不会干预该地区的内部事务。
8月，新德里：有报道称，印度政府外包合同的许多工作，是在美国的呼叫中心进行的，这引发了印度各城市的游行示威。印度工会抗议收入过低的美国人“正在抢印度中产阶级的饭碗”，要求对美国出口实行制裁、并要求美元升值。
悉尼：澳大利亚放弃举办21个成员参加的亚太经济合作(Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation)论坛年度峰会的计划，因为该国发现悉尼歌剧院太小、容纳不了所有的代表、甚至连站的地方也不够。峰会取消后，巴布亚新几内亚成了唯一可供选择的会议地点，巴布亚新几内亚表示，领导人在按照惯例、身穿当地服装拍摄集体照时，要穿上防弹背心。
9月，华盛顿：有谣传称亚洲各国央行正考虑将外汇储备多样化、转换成贝壳类货币，这引发了美元的恐慌性抛售。美国财政部请求IMF紧急援助，却被告知，应拨打北京的某个电话号码。
悉尼：澳大利亚投资银行麦格理(Macquarie)对自己提出了一个恶意收购报价。此前，这家收购意愿旺盛的投行对金融分析师表示，已经没有其它合适的收购目标了。
10月，日内瓦：一份世界卫生组织(WHO)研究发现，呼吸香港空气对健康的威胁比每天吸80支烟还严重。香港特首曾荫权(Donald Tsang)宣称，坚定领导和果断行动的时代已经到来，他雇了一名一流的美国烟草业游说人士，来戳穿有关香港空气质量的“无端谣言”。
新德里：负责治理印度的外包财团WeGov单方面终结合同，它表示，这个任务连最聪明的人也无法完成。
11月，华盛顿：美国请求中国购买更多的美元，以支撑这一每况愈下的货币，并提出用美国第七舰队(Seventh Fleet)作抵押。北京表示拒绝，称自己已经拥有美国海军，因为其经费本来就是向中国借来的。
美元进一步贬值，达到了3美元兑1欧元。美国国会辩论要不要把美元钞票上的题字从“我们信赖上帝”改为“愿我的救世主常在”。
马尼拉：在西联汇款(Western Union)的全球汇款系统发生故障、切断了外出务工者的汇款后，菲律宾经济陷入低迷。
12月，新德里：在经历了没有政府的两个月之后，印度的工业产出飙升至创纪录水平。公路、电站和机场建设活动都骤然增加。全国识字率提高了5个百分点。
东京：日本消费价格较上年同期提高了0.04%。日本央行(Bank of Japan)警告，日本经济陷于快速蔓延的恶性通货膨胀中，于是，将利率提高到10%。
| The shape of things to come |
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| Guy de Jonquieres |
| Monday, January 15, 2007 |
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For Asia, 2007 will be another year of breathtaking change. But to those in the know, even the most unlikely turn of events need not come as a surprise. Calling on its worldwide intelligence network and the exclusive services of a shaman in western China, the FT offers readers a preview of the next 12 months.
January. Beijing: in an effort to fend off the threat of trade sanctions by the US Congress over its soaring bilateral trade surplus, China dispatches purchasing missions to the US with instructions to make bulk buys at retail outlets across the country.
February. Taipei: supplies of political candidates run out after prosecutors launch probes into the few Taiwanese politicians not already under investigation for alleged corruption. |
Tokyo: Japan announces that it has developed low-cost synthetic substitutes for iron ore and coal. Australia's economy slides into recession, exports collapse and the Sydney stock exchange records its biggest ever one-day loss.
March. Beijing: Chinese purchasing missions report that after scouring US shopping malls they have been unable to find any consumer products that are not Chinese-made. Beijing announces plans instead to buy Wal-Mart and rename it The Friendship Store.
April. Naypyidaw: after decades under military rule, Burma says it will introduce democracy, calling general elections for next month.
Beijing: China finally reveals the composition of the basket of currencies used by its central bank to determine the renminbi exchange rate. Its main components are the Macau pataca, the Panama balboa, the Burmese kiat, the Bhutan ngultrum and the Laotian kip.
May. Pyongyang: hailing a momentous advance in national scientific achievement, Kim Jong-il announces that North Korea has developed the world's largest silicon chip, covering the area of two football fields.
Naypyidaw: Burma holds general elections, monitored by official Zimbabwean observers. Generals are elected to every parliamentary seat.
June. New Delhi: India's government finally gives up trying to run the country and decides to outsource the job to WeGov, a Bangalore-based consortium of IT companies led by Infosys and Wipro.
Tokyo: Japan's last rice farmer dies at the age of 102. Warning of a grave threat to national security, the government raises tariffs on rice imports to 10,000 per cent, dealing a final blow to the Doha world trade round.
July. Washington: the International Monetary Fund is declared insolvent after its last remaining borrower repays its loans, leaving the institution without a regular income. East Asian countries band together to offer an emergency bail-out, on condition that the IMF agrees to deep structural reforms, savage austerity measures and strict surveillance by the People's Bank of China.
London: world sand prices skyrocket after North Korea announces plans to mass produce giant semiconductor chips. China immediately acquires the Sahara desert in a move intended to guarantee the security of silicon supplies, saying it will not intervene in the region's internal affairs.
August. New Delhi: reports that much of the work on India's government outsourcing contract is being performed at US call centres trigger demonstrations in Indian cities. Protesting that underpaid Americans are “stealing middle-class Indian jobs”, Indian trade unions demand sanctions on US exports and the revaluation of the dollar.
Sydney: Australia abandons plans to host the annual summit of the 21-member Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation forum after discovering that the Sydney opera house is too small to accommodate all the delegates, even standing up. The summit is cancelled when Papua New Guinea emerges as the only alternative venue and says leaders will be required to wear bullet-proof Kevlar vests for their traditional group photograph in local costume.
September. Washington: rumours that Asian central banks are considering diversifying their foreign exchange reserves into cowrie shells spark panic selling of the US dollar. The US Treasury requests emergency IMF assistance but is directed to a telephone number in Beijing.
Sydney: Macquarie, the acquisitive Australian investment bank, launches a hostile takeover bid for itself after telling financial analysts that there are no other suitable targets left.
October. Geneva: a World Health Organisation study finds that breathing Hong Kong's air poses greater risks to health than smoking 80 cigarettes a day. Declaring that the time has come for firm leadership and decisive action, Donald Tsang, Hong Kong's chief executive, hires a top US tobacco industry lobbyist to put an end to “baseless rumours” about the territory's air quality.
New Delhi: WeGov, the outsourcing consortium charged with governing India, terminates its contract unilaterally, saying the assignment has defeated the efforts of the best brains.
November. Washington: the US asks China to purchase more dollars to prop up the sinking currency and offers the Seventh Fleet as collateral. Beijing declines, saying it already owns the US Navy because it was paid for with borrowed Chinese money in the first place.
The dollar falls further, reaching $3 to the euro. Congress debates a change in the inscription on dollar bills from “In God we trust” to “I hope that my redeemer liveth”.
Manila: the Philippines economy slumps after Western Union's global money transfer system breaks down, cutting off flows of worker remittances.
December. New Delhi:
after two months without a government, India's industrial output soars to record levels. Sudden increases are reported in road, power station and airport construction activity. The national literacy rate improves by five percentage points.
Tokyo: Japanese consumer prices rise by 0.04 per cent year-on-year. Warning that the economy is in the grip of galloping hyper-inflation, the Bank of Japan raises interest rates to 10 per cent
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